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Humorous comment on warring couples
July 7, 2022
Humorous comment on warring couples from June 25, 2022
          Thank you Sammy for posting an essential question and thank you Ken for answering it with your usual clarity, succinctness, and humor.
          Ken, rather than creating a form letter for us to buy, please include verbiage on all your contract forms, geared to both residential and commercial customers, that delineate and incorporate what you wrote here.  There are enough pieces that we already must juggle (physically or digitally or metaphorically) before walking out with a signed agreement and payment.  And an opportunity for K&K to move a step closer to making your updates mandatory, thereby ensuring the recurring-revenue stream that we all cherish.  
          And a way to address these issues proactively, when the newlyweds are still on their honeymoon, and being in the euphoria of lovey-doveydum will blindly sign almost anything placed before them, rather than wait to respond reactively, when the parties are already embroiled in an acrimonious dispute, armed with dream-team attorneys who will gleefully gnaw, at their customary hourly rate, into any such then-introduced letter, dragging out the resolution for all involved.  
          Of course, I really only care about us, the innocent and powerless dealers or integrators who could be swept away by these powerful tides.  
          But when an act, as a collateral benefit, can help humanity as a whole (with the exception of divorce lawyers and analogous business-separation counselors), why not? 
          However, since all the parties to this particular case appear to be ensconced in the great Republic of Texas, if their opinions echo those of their state legislature or executive, I say F-em all, with the only exception of the honorable Sammy.  I say that with all sincerity, not just because of my fear that Sammy's full name, in the good old days, may have been Samouel ho Tauros.
          Unless K&K is obliged, under some subparagraph buried deep within the Hippocritic (sic.) oath, which all members of the legal profession have signed, and which, since the time of its creation in the shade of a fig tree, has never been revealed to anyone outside the profession, under fear of losing one's head or at least of finding the head of one's prized equine on one's bed.  It states (in a simplified English translation of the original ancient Greek or Grease, "Adicia......):  The ambulance chaser shall always uphold the ideals of our brotherhood, including and especially acting to ensure work in perpetuity for all.
          I'd also like to add that if we need to include marriage and/or business-owner counseling in the multitude of hats that small-business operators must wear, we as an industry must raise our rates significantly.  Therapy pets are paid much more hourly than we are for installation work!  Not just therapy dogs, who, as a whole, are highly trained, skilled, and empathetic, but also therapy hamsters and llamas who are required to have only slightly more education and experience for their licensing (in most states) and typically possess an IQ on par with the average alarm dude or dudette.  
          I hope that entertaining such a radical idea on this public forum doesn't bare the fangs of some anti-conclusion clause or regulatory entity, but if it does, I suppose the KKC (K&K Criminal Division) would be happy to take the case.
          Keep calm, carry on, and stay safe! 
Don Fait
F.D. Security Systems, Inc
          I think you might be right that service animals make more than alarm guys [and some lawyers too].  Is it that they presumably actually work and help someone? 
          In defense of my brethren attorneys I can only say that sometimes, just sometimes, it’s the difficult clients that demand protracted disputes and litigation, probably not realizing what a mess our judicial system has become. 
          Help is on the way thanks to the recent Supreme Court ruling that New York’s gun law is unconstitutional because it’s too restrictive, leading New York’s current [appointed] governor and [sadly] elected Mayor of New York to predict return to the Wild West form of justice.  I guess they just don’t get it; even that form of justice is better than what we currently have, no justice. 
          If I change the contracts to provide that only the signor can make changes, something that really shouldn’t be necessary to add, it likely won’t make much difference since alarm companies are likely to continue to take instruction from both husband and wife [or partners in a business – or partners in a marriage].  But I did like what I interpreted in Don’s response; a provision that requires the subscriber to sign a new Kirschenbaum Contract ™ form agreement if created during the contract term.  If I thought it would work I’d insert it.
          What you should take away from all this is that you need to use updated contracts and maybe you should have been a therapy service animal.  Hope you enjoyed enjoy your July 4 holiday; the fireworks are only just starting and that should be great for your security and fire alarm business.

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Ken Kirschenbaum,Esq
Kirschenbaum & Kirschenbaum PC
Attorneys at Law
200 Garden City Plaza
Garden City, NY 11530
516 747 6700 x 301